Thursday, March 15, 2007

Take Risks In Dating, Get Rewards

Three of the Single No More singles are stepping out of their comfort zones to meet new people -- and one, the self-described cynic, has considered quitting. It's Thursday, which means it's time for another update from the four metro Detroiters Free Press is helping to find dates.

Loretta Green, a 32-year-old college librarian from Detroit, has had a few dates with a single parent she met online -- casting aside her rule of not dating men who have children. The relationship coach the Free Press hired helped her reach this decision to broaden her options. "What used to be my type hasn't worked in my favor," Loretta says. She's feeling a connection with him. "This makes me ask my closest friends many questions: 'How long should you date before it is serious? What are the rules when starting a relationship? ...Why do some people fall in love so quickly?"

Maureen Rose, a 43-year-old automotive manufacturing supervisor from Rochester Hills, took a risk last week. While having a drink with girlfriends, she spotted a handsome man at the bar. "I ordered him a drink, then went over and introduced myself. We talked about 30 minutes before I had to leave. I gave him my e-mail address. ... I received an e-mail from him reiterating that he just moved back in town and that he had to get himself financially situated before he could reciprocate and ask me out for a drink. Was that a nice way of saying, 'No, thanks?' "

Randall Walker, a 31-year-old 401(k) consultant from Royal Oak, has had two dates with a woman who contacted him through the Free Press. Their first date for coffee went well. For their second date last weekend, Randall drove to Lansing, where she lives. The optimism he felt when he first encountered her faded: "I just don't feel like there's a connection with her and me right now. ... She's applying for her PhD ... and has a full-time job where she splits her time between Flint and Ann Arbor. If we were to start up a relationship, then I know that it'd be extremely tough."

Pat Moylan, a 53-year-old neuropsychologist from Northville, is conflicted about the Single No More project. She finds the group sessions with the dating coach uninteresting. And she's also felt she doesn't fit in because she's older than the other participants. But then she talked to other women her age who said they've been monitoring her progress through the newspaper. "I've been cheered on by a lot of women over 50. ... I'm just surprised how many people say, 'I'm rooting for you, Pat.' "

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