Sunday, February 10, 2008

5 Worst Valentine Gift Ideas For Him From Amazon.Com

1. Gay Sex! The Card Game

Remember all those times he said that it was the fantasy of his lifetime to get two chics in his bed? And that you really should consider talking to your girlfriend Monica about joining you two in bed? Well, it's payback time!

2. The Vagina Monologues

Oh, this is so cruel, you almost shouldn't do it. You give him a DVD that's called The Vagina Monoloques. He thinks is a porn movie. But it's just what he hatest most - another crazy feminist bitch blaming men for her fucked up life. The coolest thing is that this DVD can't possibly fail. If he hates feminists, he's gonna hate the DVD. But if he is a dilusional feeble-minded freak that thinks that feminism may actually be 'a good progressive thing', imagine how horrible he's gonne feel about having a dick and behaving like all men do.

3. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

All men hate this book. Even gay ones! Like a said, a perfect idea for a bad Valentine's Day gift.

4. Feng Shui Mirror

Do buy him a feng shui mirror and explain how it helps for flow of positive ch'i energy. He's gonna dump you within two weeks, but that's what you want anyway, right?

5. Heinz Spotted Dick Pudding, 10-Ounce Can

Get some Heinz Spotted Dick Pudding and tell him it's the best food there is. Do insist on him opening the can and tasting it right there, but don't answer any question as two what 'spotted dick' may be.