Friday, January 05, 2007

Is It Ok To Lie To Your Date?

SAN FRANCISCO -- Singles starting the New Year with the resolve to find love may have to be wary of the false-hearted.

One quarter of singles believe it's acceptable to tell a little white lie when dating online, according to a recent survey by Engage.com, the Internet's first online relationship site where singles connect naturally by inviting their community of family and friends to Play Matchmaker(TM) for them.

The Engage.com "Manners and Behavior" survey of more than 600 single adults shows that 24 percent of respondents believe it's all right to lie when dating online; more men than women (30 percent versus 19 percent) of the total respondents think untruths are suitable.

According to survey respondents, income (21 percent) is the chief topic that singles say it's ok to tell a little white lie about in an online dating profile, followed by weight/body type (16 percent); and age (14 percent). The stated desire for a relationship and height was equally cited by 12 percent of singles.

"Truthfulness may be the ideal, but many online daters seem to feel it is both necessary and acceptable to express little white lies," said Joelle Kaufman, Vice President of The Experience at Engage.com. "For instance, we know women generally feel pressure to be younger when dating online, but the Engage.com survey shows that men may feel even greater pressure to lie about their age. Users of traditional online dating sites complain about the lack of honesty within profiles. Engage.com, the world's leading community based online matchmaking service, provides singles with greater authenticity through our naturally built-in system of social checks and balances that attracts well-behaved daters and their friends who Play Matchmaker for them."

Dating Manners

When asked, "How would you describe your dating manners?" 82 percent of singles said they rank themselves good to excellent. And, singles think their own dating manners are better than the manners of the people they date; only 66 percent of respondents said they grade the manners of their dates as excellent to good.

Singles were also asked about acceptable communications ground rules. Thirty-percent of survey respondents (among whom slightly more women than men -- 32 percent and 29 percent, respectively) said it was unobjectionable to blog about their dates or romantic relationships. Moreover, nearly 20 percent of singles said it was acceptable to discuss details of your relationship break-up on Web-based outlets, such as MySpace or YouTube.

More than eight out of 10 respondents, however, said it was improper to break-up with someone via email, chat, IM or text message. Only nine percent of singles admit to having separated with a girlfriend or boyfriend using these same channels.

The survey also shows that nearly a quarter of singles think it's appropriate to say "I love you" for the first time using email, chat, IM or texting, but only 11 percent said that they have ever done so. More men (29 percent) than women (19 percent) said declaring love for someone else for the first time is acceptable to do with technological means.

Online Dating Practices: What's Okay

More than half (53 percent) of singles feel it's acceptable not to respond to emails from singles in whom they're not interested, and women are more likely than men to have that belief. Following are other online dating practices singles consider acceptable:

-- Changing your username to avoid someone (40 percent)
-- One line emails, such as "tell me more" (31 percent)
-- Sending the same email to numerous prospects (19 percent)

What are less tolerable online dating practices?

-- Using out-of-date photos (11 percent)
-- Having photos retouched (12 percent)
-- Forwarding private emails to friends (10 percent)

Engage.com Tips For Finding Love in the New Year

-- Enlist your friends and family members to play matchmaker: Tell your
loved ones that you're looking to find love and recruit individuals who
are closest to you for help -- they are more apt to help make a quality
introduction to a prospective love interest.

-- See and be seen in comfortable settings: Singles should take part in
events and get-togethers that allow for introductions and meetings in a
casual, low-pressure environment (e.g., New Year's dinner party).

-- Date as you'd like to be dated: Be truthful about yourself and expect
the same of the ones you date. Practice good manners and behave as
you'd like to be treated. When considering someone's sincerity, let
your instincts guide you, and follow your hunches and gut feelings.


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