Wednesday, July 19, 2006

And You Thought YOUR Ex Was Bad?

Story One – Give Her A Finger

“A woman received a severed human finger in the mail along with a threatening letter from her ex-boyfriend that said, "This is my last chance to touch you," police said.

Corpus Christi Police Capt. John Houston said police were not sure which finger was removed or how but that it appeared to have been washed before it was mailed Friday.

The 32-year-old woman filed for an emergency protective order from her boyfriend last week.
Police didn’t release the name of the 34-year-old ex-boyfriend, who has not been found.”

Story Two - You Are Not Getting Out That Easy

“So before things got any crazier, I decided to tell Alex we should stop seeing each other. At that point, she started crying and before I could console her, she exploded and started screaming in a heavy satanic voice, "You're not getting out that easily. You're mine. Do you understand?" Of course, that's where my nightmare began.

From that day on, my life has been a roller coaster ride. Little annoying things started to develop from Alex's action, which slowly developed into more serious offenses.

In a period of two weeks, I received everything from desperate phone calls in the middle of the night and threatening messages on my answering machine, to a redesign of my car -- I never thought a car could look like a piece of Swiss cheese. I was even falsely accused of sexual harassment. Luckily for me, her story didn't fly and the charges were later dropped.”


"Holly, I swear I didn't mean to hurt you, but you can be such a raving biitch sometimes! If I knew she worked with you I wouldnt' have banged her. I used protection. She means nothing to me. I jus twant to come back home. At least let me get my stuff. There was no reason to LIE to the cops. You know I wasn't peeping... I was trying to break in to MY apartment. just because i am not on the lease doesn't mean its not my home. I promise, no more you know what if you let me come back! I'll still talk nasty. Feed my fish, please."

Story Four – Slap In The Face

"My ex from last year broke up with me in the middle of ssex. That was fun. She started crying and said she had to break up with me because she didn't like being emotionally committed to someone. Then she ran out of my room and tripped over a drunk freshman who was passed out in the hall. Found out later that she was seeing a shrink 3 times a week and didn't tell me about it. That explains the bipolar tendencies.

And here's the best one. This past summer I spent at a nerdy research internship program thing. One of the girls was pretty cute, hit on me a few times, and after awhile we hooked up. I stopped that when she tried to slap me across the face in the middle of it. Weird S&M freak. After that I found out she was engaged the whole time. When I dumped her, she continued to cheat on her fiancé with a rodeo clown who lived around campus."

Story Five – Fancy Meal Breakup

We are in Houston visiting his mom for the week. she was having surgery. I took My precious vaction time and drove MY new car from Dallas to help out. We had been dating for a year at this point. The day following the surgery we left the hospital to grab a bite to eat. We went to Benigan's. The total bill(his meal and mine combined) came to $21 dollars. He takes a long look at the bill and says with all sincerity, "We have got to stop eating at these extravagant restaurants." (He is an engineer, makes abot $65k a year and has loads $$$ in his savings)........Needless to say we broke up for good shortly after that episode.